Happy Birthdays!

i gotta give some shout outs to some of my peeps for turning another year older:

1. Nana - She's the freshest fly girl i know. (it's like 1992, right?) but really, if there's one person whom i admire or could call a role model, it's my nana. she's so worldly, regal, loving, and provides sage advice packaged in long-winded meandering stories, yet is so down to earth that she repeats chris rock's dirty jokes.

2. Cara - love this girl. She embodies the true meaning of a pillar of strength, trust and honesty. When she says something she means it and will always follows through- be that with work, her relationships, and her emotions. Plus, she's a freaking nutjob. i love goofing off with her (and her mom).

3. Earl - Nana's husband. the man who introduced me to the Manhattan (he always orders one with his dinner). he's a stoic and dry-witted talented artist. what a great man for nana because he's quite calm compared to her neurotically sensitive personality. (Similar to my relationship with my "beau").

So my love goes out to these wonderful people in my life. Happy birthday to you all. you make it really easy for me to remember your bdays by being born within 24 hours of one another (well plus or minus a few years too).

CreepSauce

When I hit puberty I started to struggle with my weight. I was never overweight, but I wasn't one of those enviable/confident/sexy teenagers that all boys wanted and girls wanted to be. At the time it created dissonance within me; while I wished I was sexier, I found security in not receiving unwanted attention. This way I could be flirty and fun but it wouldn't be misinterpreted and taken to a weird unmanageable level. I wasn't always happy that I couldn't just get any guy, but in retrospect I did date a few great boys and it worked out just fine.

Finally in my 20s I came into my own and decided to recreate myself. I lost 20 lbs. and managed to keep it off. I still struggle with my pear-shaped "problem areas", but I'm the only one who seems to be bothered by this. Ironically my least favorite body parts, my booty and hips, get all sorts of positive attention from men and women-- I'm like the Jewish Kim Kardashian. I've been holla'd at multiple times by some randoms on the street, including my favorite where I was told to "fish tail it gurrrl". Think about it.....

So all of this weight management comes with hard work. I eat what I want, but I usually count calories and work out on a regular. I keep a caloric-management profile on livestrong.com and today I received a total creepsauce note from what looks to be a born-again-ESL-troglodyte-spam-mailer who finds me "worthy of a friendship". the weird thing is that my one pic on that site is of my toilet. (eating disorders are not funny... so I'm told).

From: precious00
Date Sent: Dec 30, 2009
Subject: Hello Dear,
Hello Dear,I saw your nice profile,at [livestrong.com] and something motivated me to communicate with you'i found you worthy of acceptance and godly;My Dear in your usual time may it pleases you to write me back in email address[preciousweah@hotmail.fr]So that i can send you my pictures and also tell you more about myself.A friendship is the foundation build on other relative things to come.May God bless you as i wait impatiently to hear from you. Your lonely friend,precious.

Golden Birthday!

welcome to the final year missy! 365 days until you're officially too old to trust.

is nothing sacred?

i was maybe 10 or 11 years old visiting my dad's sided of the family in LA when we passed the time to see a little weird movie that changed my life. This movie is titled Drop Dead Fred. I was so moved by the picture that my memories from the day are more vivid than those from yesterday. I recall leaving the theater, jumping onto a fountain's ledge, dancing and rejoicing with fulfilled amusement. From there we all walked to an italian deli where the adults got fancy coffee drinks and the kids got some delicious international treats.

The title character played by Rik Mayall went on to be one of my favorite comedians of all time when I rediscovered him in The Young Ones as a young teenager (they used to play reruns on Comedy Central when i was maybe 13.)

Well, the most uninspiring and unimaginative industry, current-day hollywood, is ruining the classic tale of a woman trying to regain her confidence via her destructive childhood imaginary friend. They're casting that annoying prat named Russel Brand who will never be anything close to the obnoxious googly-eyed visionary that is Rik Mayall. Although the original was critically known as a flop, I predict the remake will never ever make it to cult status.

All i have to say is that Snotface better rebel and stop the dog poo from getting all over the silver screen.

Say, What's the Time?

i gotta look stylish yo. That's why im gettin' myself these fresh watches:


Timex silver classic


Casio Gold time machine Data Bank

The best thing about the latter is the testimonials on amazon.com. This one in particular said, "Also different time zones can be viewed just by touching one simple button, It looks so elegant in your wrist. I ordered two-one in golden and another in silver steel."

I mean just look at that thing; it's obvious that the watch belongs on Audrey Hepburn's wrists, but it's insane how technology has advanced! 1 button lets you view 2 different time zones?!
I was sold.

Lisa better have returned it!

so im fb stalking my old roommate. i think i totally miss her?
anyway, she has the funniest craziest pictures of herself and her friends from high school on her page. they're so great because she's a few years older than me making her a prime candidate for blackmail; there's nothing but giant over-hairsprayed permed-out hairdos topped with scrunchies, giant Cosby sweaters, mini skirts, and layered socks.
There's this particular school dance style photo of all her girl-friends awkwardly posing which is just perfect for awkwardfamilyphotos.com.
the best part is her photo's caption: "Can you believe we got this picture taken? LISA - THAT'S MY SWEATER!! :)"
I can't tell you why i think that's the funniest shit i've read in the longest time, but i can't.stop.laughing.

Bestie Brides

My close friend RdR keeps a wonderful blog that she created to help organize her wedding. Once she got into the planning spirit she started to post her ideas for her best friend's hypothetical weddings. Well to keep this tradition alive I'll throw in some of my own suggestions for our friends.

This Bestie Bride is dedicated to Coco.

Coco is freaking awesome. She's the first to throw costume parties and the first to save the fish. What more could you ask for in this bridal outfit?
But RdR made a good point, "how will her very regal mother approve?"
I say, "who cares?! we'll tell her she's being traditional. It's something new and blue."
RdR: "wow. you're very convincing."
me: "I've got it worked out."