It looks like my boyfriend's "Cats: The Silent Menace" article wasn't accepted. However, the editing staff did say they loved what they saw and "strongly encourage [him] to try again...and hope [they can] find an opportunity to work together in the future."
Not Bad.
On another note, i have a hard time sleeping through the night because our apartment was built in the 1930s and has no insulation. this means i hear the garbage shoot at 11pm, the neighbors clomping up the stairs at 2am, and the garbage collector at 4am. Sometimes I put in earplugs to cancel out sound and other times I leave the tv on as white noise.
Two nights ago, at 4am, the garbage guy was beeping away but the tv was still on and there was this great song playing. It roused me further from my slumber and I had to find out what amazing band was performing at Austin City Limits. It turns out it was a scene from "My Life As Liz" where Liz was performing Band of Horses' "The Funeral" at her school's talent show. Her cover was so hauntingly good that it kept me up for a few more hours.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Cat Scratch Fever
Today's JOD was supplied by my boyfriend, who I now realize gets me because we're both silly as hell. Below is an article he actually submitted to a professional site that publishes experts' articles on topics such as "Cat Scratching".
Cat scratching is a nuisance and an epidemic that has been sweeping the country since the dawn of upholstered furniture. As an expert on all matters feline (I served as the United States Special Cat Envoy to the Republic of Catistan), I have an uncommon understanding of the source of cat scratching. Buckle up, things are about to get hairy.
The primary reasons that cats scratch is due to the fact that cats and furniture have been enemies since the dawn of time. The origin of this conflict lies in territorial disputes over the ancestral borders of Catistan; cats claim that their borders should stretch across the Iberian Peninsula. Furniture was unavailable to comment.
What is clear is that cats will extract their revenge on furniture regardless of the cost of the furniture or the audience who is privy to the scratching. Who could forget the State Department dinner when the Foreign Minister of Cultural Affairs for Catistan, Mr. Steven ‘Boots’ Cheshire III, raked his claws across President Carter’s trusted counselor, Leather Recliner Chair? Certainly not President Carter nor the American people.
Another reason that cats scratch furniture is due to the fact that cats are bored with their cloistered lives in many American homes. Cats and their obnoxiously cute offspring, commonly referred to as kittens and uncommonly referred to as Fluff Nuggets, have a tremendous capacity to analyze complex problems. Engage your cat with complex calculus problems. Challenge him to a game of Risk. Set your cat up with a stack of classic English Literature. Whatever you do, make sure that your cat is occupied. After all, a bored cat is a destructive cat.
And the final and most unsettling reason that cats scratch furniture is to keep their claws razor sharp for the inevitable cat overthrow of the American government. Cats are always at a heightened state of combat readiness, constantly sharpening their weapons to be ready for the call from the Grand Czar of Cat Invasion, General Olaf Caterson.
Many Americans assume that cats are lazy, no good consumers of sunshine and delicious cat food (food that could be used to feed undernourished American families mind you). Cats reinforce this notion by sleeping up to 16 hours a day and hypnotizing Americans with their lazy cat eyes. Don’t fall for their trickery! Vigilance and Education are the 2 keys to turning back the inevitable cat uprising that is threatening the sovereignty of the American people! Fight back against your cat by keeping him unfit with generous portions of lasagna. Dave knew how to fight against the threat of Garfield and so should you! Remember, a fat cat is a slow cat, and a slow cat makes an easy target on a battlefield.
Cat scratching is a nuisance and an epidemic that has been sweeping the country since the dawn of upholstered furniture. As an expert on all matters feline (I served as the United States Special Cat Envoy to the Republic of Catistan), I have an uncommon understanding of the source of cat scratching. Buckle up, things are about to get hairy.
The primary reasons that cats scratch is due to the fact that cats and furniture have been enemies since the dawn of time. The origin of this conflict lies in territorial disputes over the ancestral borders of Catistan; cats claim that their borders should stretch across the Iberian Peninsula. Furniture was unavailable to comment.
What is clear is that cats will extract their revenge on furniture regardless of the cost of the furniture or the audience who is privy to the scratching. Who could forget the State Department dinner when the Foreign Minister of Cultural Affairs for Catistan, Mr. Steven ‘Boots’ Cheshire III, raked his claws across President Carter’s trusted counselor, Leather Recliner Chair? Certainly not President Carter nor the American people.
Another reason that cats scratch furniture is due to the fact that cats are bored with their cloistered lives in many American homes. Cats and their obnoxiously cute offspring, commonly referred to as kittens and uncommonly referred to as Fluff Nuggets, have a tremendous capacity to analyze complex problems. Engage your cat with complex calculus problems. Challenge him to a game of Risk. Set your cat up with a stack of classic English Literature. Whatever you do, make sure that your cat is occupied. After all, a bored cat is a destructive cat.
And the final and most unsettling reason that cats scratch furniture is to keep their claws razor sharp for the inevitable cat overthrow of the American government. Cats are always at a heightened state of combat readiness, constantly sharpening their weapons to be ready for the call from the Grand Czar of Cat Invasion, General Olaf Caterson.
Many Americans assume that cats are lazy, no good consumers of sunshine and delicious cat food (food that could be used to feed undernourished American families mind you). Cats reinforce this notion by sleeping up to 16 hours a day and hypnotizing Americans with their lazy cat eyes. Don’t fall for their trickery! Vigilance and Education are the 2 keys to turning back the inevitable cat uprising that is threatening the sovereignty of the American people! Fight back against your cat by keeping him unfit with generous portions of lasagna. Dave knew how to fight against the threat of Garfield and so should you! Remember, a fat cat is a slow cat, and a slow cat makes an easy target on a battlefield.
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