This Makes My Tonsils Tingle

Van Der Glas' jowl jewelry.

9/11

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

I live in a good Country. A Country that is founded on the basis of struggle in hopes to live in a just and free world. A world that promotes human rights that are defined by man being created equal in the eyes of a higher power (and if you do not believe in G-d, then just by being born) and not defined by ourselves under our prejudicial limitations. That we all have a chance to grab destiny by our grip and pursue our wants, needs and dreams. This comes with the responsibility to pursue a life we want without holding others down so that they may be granted the same rights we have been granted, just by being born. I want us to remember these rights that were thought of by the enlightenment philosophers and the suffering and plight that continued for generations before and after our forefathers wrote down on parchment what these rights are in our Country, and what the meaning behind all of this is and is not. It's our duty to continue this idea for ourselves and hold this mentality up for others as well. These are human rights, not just American rights. Do not be confused, I am not suggesting amnesty for those who do not hold up their part of this. But today is a day of reflection in America. I suggest we stand back to allow yourself to comprehend and remember the lessons of which today reminds us of why and how this Country is so great and to bring peace to all man.

A year ago I predicted computers and other electronics would return to wooden framing that was so popular in the 70s and 80s. Well, I discovered something better on etsy.com: Old Time Computers makes custom made "steam punk" style monitors, keyboards, mice, and mouse pads. Would you buy?

promote things i love

when I first moved to SF in 2007, i came across an article about a french artist who designs and paints graphics onto women's vintage shoes. I wanted to either purchase or commission him to make a pair of my own, but never got around to it. Since then his work has grown quite a bit and all of the shoes are just as incredible as the next!
because of cyberspace it's been easy to follow his talent beyond shoes. his creativity shows even when experimenting with other mediums and working as a collaborator. If you haven't heard of him, I thought i'd share the inspiration with you all.
Ladies and gentlemen: Monsier Ndeur/Mathieu Missiaen.

I am not alone here.

The old adage, "If you want something done, give it to a busy person" usually rings true, however there are times when this hypothesis does not hold up. Case in point:

Maybe it's the type A's v the lazies? The ambitious v ambivalent? The haves v the have-nots?

In any case, I think Hyperbole and a Half's blog post sums it up pretty well.

ps- thanks again and again to my friend at ThePlusSizePug for introducing me, and now you, to this awesome blog!

just because

my thoughtful and generous bf bought me a new MacBook. I'm playing with photobooth. these are my masterpieces:

My best impression of one of the Ramones. Johnny? Joey? Marky?

the above two are for my siouxsie and the banshees cover band album covers

Oh hey guys! did you hear? Like, there's a raging bonfire party down at the pier? Yeah like Cyndi Lauper is supposed to show. but you know, like, no big deal.

30 before 30

My good friend, RdR, has inspired me to create my very own 30-things-I-want-to-do-before-I-turn-30-years-old list. If I can't cross-off all of these things from this list by Oct. 29th, well, I'll give myself an extension: Dec. 31st.

1. Apply to graduate schools!!!!
2. Celebrate my double-15th birthday with a quinceañera themed party.
3. Travel to NY with the bf and experience his NYC.
4. Lose those pesky 5 lbs.
5. Get a job in the mental health industry (or at least get a good job if I'm volunteering in the mental health sector.)
6. Join a dance class. Jazz please!
7. Reorganize and de-clutter the home office.
8. Host a nice party at my home with good friends.
9. Go out clubbing with my girls once a month! (This does not happen as often as I want)
   
10. Cut down on my TV addiction.
11. Introduce Mike to Nana.
12. Make a skirt from scratch.
13. Get better about managing my investments.
14. Start carrying my mobile on me again.
    
15. If I can afford it, either take more spin classes or pilates.
16. Find a great indoor hanging potter for our plants.
17. Be better about talking regularly to friends and family, near and far.
18. Get stuff out of my AZ storage.
19. Organize our magazines, cds, and dvds.
20. Draw or paint a picture for the apt. and hang it.
    
21. Do laundry more often (before I get down to my last pair of undies).
22. Get my CA driver's license. (breakin' the law, breakin' the law).
23. Organize online photos.
24. Fix my computer (or at least get a new one).
25. When said computer is fixed, make a cd for Mike's dad.
26. Backup files on external hard drive.
27. Take public transportation more often.
    
28. Hang out with my siblings in SD and get to know sister-in-law better. (I just visited with my Chi sib).
29. Go through a week without mentioning anything negative about my mind, body, or abilities.
30. Find a local coffee shop/library with comfortable furniture and work from there.
    
    

is life really what you make it?

I have a theory on life. Yes, I'm about "get all meta" on you, as my boyfriend would say.

The theory is best described through the example of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" (CYOA) books that were popular with pre-adolescent boys in the 1980s. These books began like any other book, giving the reader a buildup to a story. When the plot starts to form, the reader "creates their own tale" by choosing an option of how they would like to proceed in the novel. For example, if the protagonist comes to a fork in the road, the reader is given the choice to go left or go right. If they want to go left, then turn to page 99; if you choose to turn right, turn to page 74. From there, the reader will continue a storyline and proceed like this throughout the book until they either end up happily ever after, or die. More often than not they die. But the point is that the reader actively creates their own fate and discovers the consequences already predetermined by the text.

Like the CYOA books, I believe that we all have the choice and act of free will to do anything in our lives, however there are predetermined outcomes for these actions. an endless variety of fates, if you will.

I came to this hypothesis when I was the most hyper-aware and happy in my life. I started to notice that there were several small reoccurring coincidences. This I found to be almost like "markers" letting me know that I was on the right track to live out a "happily ever after" destiny instead of winding up miserable or dead.

I bring this up because my friend has a new man in her life. Not that's huge news for those who don't know her, but there might be a reason outside of her own control on why this happened and here's the coincidence to explain:

My friend's mother bought my friend some peonies the other day, just because. sweet huh? well, a few days later my friend tells me the news that she and this new guy are on a good track. So far, no coincidence to speak of. Then today, I happened upon this article about how Peonies are the flower that will bring you love. I don't want to say that this is her future husband, but I think she is on the right track right now for a relaxed and enjoyable romance that will make her happy.

What do you think? Is there some truth to my CYOA theory?

Iron

I just can't get enough of the French Industrial Machine-age Chic interior design that popped into the mainstream last year. It's everywhere (including my living room) but no one seems to get it just right like Restoration Hardware. Now I want it to creep into my bedroom.

Gawd, I love this bed

Quote of the Day

"You're so 'liberal arts' with your journal. I'll make you an excel spreadsheet."

-my ex-coworker, an engineer, who scoffed at my suggestion to keep a journal for posterity on her 2 week European vacation.

Zee Germans beat me at my own game!

About a year ago when my boyfriend started working in social video gaming I came up with a really great game idea: A homeless game (it didn't have to be for social sites). The bf was intrigued and wanted to learn more.

Over a romantic dinner we talked all about the details: As the gamer, you are a bum living on the street. Your goal is to stay alive, but you'll have a hard time reaching any success. You can do things like try to avoid drugs, or score drugs, find and keep a dog companion, make sure your possessions don't get stolen while you sleep, find and keep sleeping arrangements, figure out how to make money, etc. you get the picture. I provided the ideas and he relayed how it can be practical in relation to game theory. In the end this was a strategy-driven game and a social-commentary on how the other half live.

Well, turns out that the pessimists are right: no one has a unique thought.

To my dismay, a new hobo game has been released by some German company. It's a social role-playing game called "Street Rivals" where you're a bum and you can fight other bums, recycle bottles, and go dumpster diving.

Ugh. I'm so BUMMED! I wish the bf and I produced my game first! Well, maybe there's a chance since the two aren't exactly alike but have similar premises? What do you think?

I think on vacation

You know how you go on vacation and you typically sight-see, party, chill whatever...
You know what I do? I go to networking events and talk to local politicians, that's what I do, sukka!

But it's a better story than that:

My longtime friend from college, who now lives in the UK, is in charge of finding the funds for this one rich socialite power lesbian's new political campaign in London called, "The Commons." The politician is a highly motivated 25-year-old who has no idea what she's really doing, but she has the courage, verve, and optimism to do it anyway. You know the kind? ugh.

I spent that afternoon visiting my friend, doing the typical vacation things (drinking, eating, catching up on life stories) and before too long she has to head to a networking event for work and I decide to join her. She sneaks me in, and I make my way around the cocktail hour telling people that I can't do anything to bolster their careers because I'm an American on holiday. It seemed to break the ice on small talk at least.

After chit-chat, we made our way into the adjacent auditorium where there is a panel of speakers. The topic is how internet's social networking sites (i.e. Twitter, Facebook) are being used in their elections. One panel speaker is an American from the Obama campaign, the rest are Brits, two of whom are MPs (The equivalent of our US Senators, but much more outlandishly rude in the House of Commons).

While the panel is talking about things like "Social sites hold public figures more accountable because the public is watching and tweeting about them" there is this giant back screen displaying a live tweet feed happening and NO ONE is paying attention to the speakers. The audience is posting insults about everything on the feed! it was really distracting and rude but really, kinda funny and entertaining because the Brits are major trash-talkers.

This one speaker, Tom Watson, was the first MP to blog and he loves playing games on facebook and says some rad stuff like this is actually the first TV campaign for Britain! Literally, they never had tv debates before!!! it's insane~ ok, while he's talking I get a BRILLIANT idea:

1. My friend is fundraising for her politician
2. Tom mentions he plays videogames on facebook
3. My boyfriend's social gaming company makes money on microtransactions from facebook videogames

So all of that lead me to think why don't these politicians fund raise via microtransactions from their supporters on social networking sites? BRILLIANT!!!

I want to ask Tom this, but I freak out in public speaking. So I'm sitting there pressuring my friend to ask my question since that's her job...she won't.

So I wait until the presentation ends to go up to Tom Watson and I ask him my question/tell him my brilliant idea he lights up! He said no one does that and that's a great idea and I should use it.

So I said I would love to and told him to give me a job.

No, I just said that I don't work in politics, but I'm proud to meet a politician who gives me and validates my good ideas. In the end, we both are obviously stupidly happy with this epiphany, he shakes my hand, and I leave thinking he'll use this on his campaign and satisfied with what I accomplish on my vacation.

Catastrophic

It looks like my boyfriend's "Cats: The Silent Menace" article wasn't accepted. However, the editing staff did say they loved what they saw and "strongly encourage [him] to try again...and hope [they can] find an opportunity to work together in the future."

Not Bad.

On another note, i have a hard time sleeping through the night because our apartment was built in the 1930s and has no insulation. this means i hear the garbage shoot at 11pm, the neighbors clomping up the stairs at 2am, and the garbage collector at 4am. Sometimes I put in earplugs to cancel out sound and other times I leave the tv on as white noise.

Two nights ago, at 4am, the garbage guy was beeping away but the tv was still on and there was this great song playing. It roused me further from my slumber and I had to find out what amazing band was performing at Austin City Limits. It turns out it was a scene from "My Life As Liz" where Liz was performing Band of Horses' "The Funeral" at her school's talent show. Her cover was so hauntingly good that it kept me up for a few more hours.

Cat Scratch Fever

Today's JOD was supplied by my boyfriend, who I now realize gets me because we're both silly as hell. Below is an article he actually submitted to a professional site that publishes experts' articles on topics such as "Cat Scratching".

Cat scratching is a nuisance and an epidemic that has been sweeping the country since the dawn of upholstered furniture. As an expert on all matters feline (I served as the United States Special Cat Envoy to the Republic of Catistan), I have an uncommon understanding of the source of cat scratching. Buckle up, things are about to get hairy.

The primary reasons that cats scratch is due to the fact that cats and furniture have been enemies since the dawn of time. The origin of this conflict lies in territorial disputes over the ancestral borders of Catistan; cats claim that their borders should stretch across the Iberian Peninsula. Furniture was unavailable to comment.

What is clear is that cats will extract their revenge on furniture regardless of the cost of the furniture or the audience who is privy to the scratching. Who could forget the State Department dinner when the Foreign Minister of Cultural Affairs for Catistan, Mr. Steven ‘Boots’ Cheshire III, raked his claws across President Carter’s trusted counselor, Leather Recliner Chair? Certainly not President Carter nor the American people.

Another reason that cats scratch furniture is due to the fact that cats are bored with their cloistered lives in many American homes. Cats and their obnoxiously cute offspring, commonly referred to as kittens and uncommonly referred to as Fluff Nuggets, have a tremendous capacity to analyze complex problems. Engage your cat with complex calculus problems. Challenge him to a game of Risk. Set your cat up with a stack of classic English Literature. Whatever you do, make sure that your cat is occupied. After all, a bored cat is a destructive cat.

And the final and most unsettling reason that cats scratch furniture is to keep their claws razor sharp for the inevitable cat overthrow of the American government. Cats are always at a heightened state of combat readiness, constantly sharpening their weapons to be ready for the call from the Grand Czar of Cat Invasion, General Olaf Caterson.

Many Americans assume that cats are lazy, no good consumers of sunshine and delicious cat food (food that could be used to feed undernourished American families mind you). Cats reinforce this notion by sleeping up to 16 hours a day and hypnotizing Americans with their lazy cat eyes. Don’t fall for their trickery! Vigilance and Education are the 2 keys to turning back the inevitable cat uprising that is threatening the sovereignty of the American people! Fight back against your cat by keeping him unfit with generous portions of lasagna. Dave knew how to fight against the threat of Garfield and so should you! Remember, a fat cat is a slow cat, and a slow cat makes an easy target on a battlefield.

Good News

Guess who got engaged....


(Click here to find out.)

excuse me, that's my red swingline stapler.

I'm not in love with my job. I treat it as a paycheck and it makes me miserable for all the right reasons:

I feel I'm trapped due to a bad economy. management laid off 99% of my favorite co-workers. I get paid less than the day I started (2 years ago), yet I have way way more responsibilities. It's a dead end job because I'm about to hit my glass-ceiling. I'm highly under appreciated and it shows when people are rude and aggressive towards me, yet management doesn't care to regulate said unprofessional behavior. So basically it stinks!

Moreover, there's this one person who is my office nemesis. She's a compulsive interrupter, talks non-stop about herself, doesn't listen to others, takes credit for my ideas, and makes several anti-Semitic remarks (management hasn't done anything about this either). I must be a saint for saving her life (I'm not even joking. i literally saved this girls life by rushing her to a Dr. all the while she was convulsing and had shallow, short, almost non-existent breathing patterns!! i find it hard to believe she'd return the favor.)

So I've hatched this evil plan for when I finally move on from this job.

This is not like setting the office building on fire, but when I leave I'll reset all her phone's auto-dial buttons to sexy 900 numbers, or the like. Since no one knows about this VOIP system that I control, I think they'll have a hard time figuring out how to reprogram.

I know, it's juvenile, but i gotta have a little fun when i leave, right?

this will make you pee your pants

If you like to read the twitter, "shit my dad says", then you'll like my friend's new blog, mama's mouth words.

Totally Awesome!

Bring on the Payne!

When i was in high school a bunch of my friends discovered this great new novel by Harvard grad, C.D. Payne called Youth in Revolt. it was a tome compared to what i was used to reading in school (about 900 pages from what i remember), but it was the fastest read of my life. None of us could put the book down! (plus it probably helped with our SAT vocabulary).

The protagonist, Nick Twisp, is a loquacious self-proclaimed genius 14-year old suburban boy trying desperately to lose his virginity to his unrequited love, Sheena, while rebelling against his jerk parents and any authority. Show me the teenager who wouldn't be consumed with this kind of story?

Now, about15 years later (am i that old?) and they finally made a movie and released this as a blockbuster to the world (yesss!!!).

Because this book played a part of my adolescent identity, i'm sensitive and proud of it... (but i have yet to see the movie.)
So, my friend casually brings up in conversation that she and her new quasi-boyfriend agreed that he's supposed to see a "chick flick" with her. This is our conversation on the subject:

Friend: oh! do you consider Youth in Revolt to be a chick flick? because (my guy) said it's a chick flick i'm like, um, no.
me: i consider youth in revolt to be AWESOME
Friend: YES ME TOO
me: i mean ok i loved that book and im a chick, but it's just transcendentally downright good. it's not anything like a chicky-romantic comedy
Friend: yeah, i didn't think so either
me: it's honing in on a young indie audience. (your guy) lost points.
Friend: i think he's just saying that so it can be used as his "chick flick" movie that he has to watch with me
me: yeah, no. it's about a kid trying to lose his virginity while revolting against asshole parents/authority; that is NOT a chick flick
Friend: yeah, i was trying to explain it to him. i think he just doesn't want to watch Leap Year haha
me: in the book there's this one part where he and his best friend want to see what it's like for a girl to give a BJ, and they test it on one another and his mom walks in....
Friend: hahaha i bet that's not in the movie
me: should be. would be awesome
Friend: (my guy) doesn't even know what the movie is about
me: then he's dumb

So i'm probably being way harsh Tai (may Brittany Murphy rest in peace), but you gotta admit he's gonna lose this one.

JOD

I'm just pumping these blogs out lately!

So my brother and i have this thing we call the JOD (Joke Of the Day) to help break up the drudgery of the workday.

His JOD to me 8jan10:

my law school friend and neighbor married a tall, tight-body blonde; kind of a butter face. she's sweet. i like her.

her facebook status: i told my coworker i love my new hdtv and he said it's good i didn't get an hd mirror.

REUHHHHHEUUUDDDD (sound it out).

One of my other favorites is a few years old, but it's also yet to be realized...:

A few years back my brother and i were hanging out and he said that he couldn't wait until his friend Mark Wang proposes to his girlfriend.

I'm like that's sweet, but why do you care?

He said that he has a killer engagement gift for them.

Me: oh yeah? what's that?

Him: Well, you should know that Mark's girlfriend's name is Mai (pronounced "My") and I'm gonna make them custom matching tee shirts with her full married name printed on it, "Mai Wang", except on hers will be an arrow pointing up at her face, and on his will be an arrow pointing down toward his belt.

and i thought my friend RdR had a good married name (which is totally a palindrome)!

Happy Birthdays!

i gotta give some shout outs to some of my peeps for turning another year older:

1. Nana - She's the freshest fly girl i know. (it's like 1992, right?) but really, if there's one person whom i admire or could call a role model, it's my nana. she's so worldly, regal, loving, and provides sage advice packaged in long-winded meandering stories, yet is so down to earth that she repeats chris rock's dirty jokes.

2. Cara - love this girl. She embodies the true meaning of a pillar of strength, trust and honesty. When she says something she means it and will always follows through- be that with work, her relationships, and her emotions. Plus, she's a freaking nutjob. i love goofing off with her (and her mom).

3. Earl - Nana's husband. the man who introduced me to the Manhattan (he always orders one with his dinner). he's a stoic and dry-witted talented artist. what a great man for nana because he's quite calm compared to her neurotically sensitive personality. (Similar to my relationship with my "beau").

So my love goes out to these wonderful people in my life. Happy birthday to you all. you make it really easy for me to remember your bdays by being born within 24 hours of one another (well plus or minus a few years too).

CreepSauce

When I hit puberty I started to struggle with my weight. I was never overweight, but I wasn't one of those enviable/confident/sexy teenagers that all boys wanted and girls wanted to be. At the time it created dissonance within me; while I wished I was sexier, I found security in not receiving unwanted attention. This way I could be flirty and fun but it wouldn't be misinterpreted and taken to a weird unmanageable level. I wasn't always happy that I couldn't just get any guy, but in retrospect I did date a few great boys and it worked out just fine.

Finally in my 20s I came into my own and decided to recreate myself. I lost 20 lbs. and managed to keep it off. I still struggle with my pear-shaped "problem areas", but I'm the only one who seems to be bothered by this. Ironically my least favorite body parts, my booty and hips, get all sorts of positive attention from men and women-- I'm like the Jewish Kim Kardashian. I've been holla'd at multiple times by some randoms on the street, including my favorite where I was told to "fish tail it gurrrl". Think about it.....

So all of this weight management comes with hard work. I eat what I want, but I usually count calories and work out on a regular. I keep a caloric-management profile on livestrong.com and today I received a total creepsauce note from what looks to be a born-again-ESL-troglodyte-spam-mailer who finds me "worthy of a friendship". the weird thing is that my one pic on that site is of my toilet. (eating disorders are not funny... so I'm told).

From: precious00
Date Sent: Dec 30, 2009
Subject: Hello Dear,
Hello Dear,I saw your nice profile,at [livestrong.com] and something motivated me to communicate with you'i found you worthy of acceptance and godly;My Dear in your usual time may it pleases you to write me back in email address[preciousweah@hotmail.fr]So that i can send you my pictures and also tell you more about myself.A friendship is the foundation build on other relative things to come.May God bless you as i wait impatiently to hear from you. Your lonely friend,precious.